Archive for the ‘smellanie’ Category
I found these very useful tips for preventing workplace violence in a stack of old papers in my desk. Apparently I did not pay attention during this class and instead took the opportunity to draw some snarky comics.
/rant on
And they wonder why people are using FedEx and UPS instead of the US Postal Service. Hmmm…I wonder why. Perhaps this shitty “tracking” system is why!
This afternoon, I got an email confirming the shipment of an item I bought on eBay:
I was so excited! I clicked on the link (the pixelated line of numbers up there), only to get the following really helpful message from the USPS website:
If this had been the first time I had been duped into clicking a “tracking” link from the US Postal Service, I would probably think “oh, well, maybe it hasn’t been updated in their system yet or something”, but it’s NOT. Every single time I get a shipping confirmation from the USPS, it leads me to a page that tells me there is no record of the item.
And yet, all of the items have eventually found their way to my house, which leads me to believe that the USPS tracking system is a giant bullshit lie.
If you’re going to offer a service in modern times that promises to track a package, you had damn well better actually track the effing package. Just because you tell me that it’s being tracked doesn’t mean it actually is unless it actually is being tracked!
So, if the USPS is wondering “what can we do to compete with FedEx and UPS”, I have the answer for them:
ACTUALLY TRACK PACKAGES. DON’T JUST SAY YOU ARE DOING IT AND GIVE ME A BULLSHIT LINK!
/rant off
Ah, I feel better. If only everyone would just run everything past me. Then the world would be a much better place. For me, anyway! 
So, this morning I was telling the huzz about the Vdara Hotel in Vegas, and how its curved and mirrored surface was creating a “death ray” that was baking people in its pool area, and the following exchange occurred:
From: fletcherism
To: smellanie
Sent: Fri, October 1, 2010 12:09:17 PM
Subject: Re: DEATH RAY hotel
that is indeed some crazy-ass shit.
or: some crazy ass-shit.
_____________________________________________
From: smellanie
To: fletcherism
Sent: Fri, October 1, 2010 3:46:34 PM
Subject: Re: DEATH RAY hotel
HAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I really wanted to do a hilarious image for “crazy ass-shit” but I’ve been harangued all day by people who apparently think I work here or some shit.
_____________________________________________
From: fletcherism
To: smellanie
Sent: Fri, October 1, 2010 3:51:45 PM
Subject: Re: DEATH RAY hotel
well, it is the thought that counts.
and now i can’t stop thinking of The Count from The Muppets.he is my thought and he counts!
_____________________________________________
From: smellanie
To: fletcherism
Sent: Fri, October 1, 2010 4:04:48 PM
Subject: Re: DEATH RAY hotel
I’ve been playing Oblivion recently. One of the great things about Oblivion is that you can make your own character class, and you can name it. And then it asks you if you are sure.
Hey, readers! We want to make sure that all four of you know we are currently in sunny San Diego for Comic Con 2010! We have a veritable shitload of pictures and stories to share, but we are entirely too fucking tired to do it all right now. We promise updates and pics when we get back to the nice cool forest we call home.
Here is a little sample for you! It’s Canadian Mister T as rendered by Joel Watson of Hijinks Ensue:
Well, now you can date European women. Just check out the amazing European hotness:
Not convinced? How about now:
I’m very happy for this European woman and her acceptance of her non-traditional looks, but I’m not sure if this is what the advertiser really was going for. What do ya’ll think?
